


Lost, Yet Somehow Found

by xXxAngelStormxXx



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Amnesia, Memory Loss, superhero, supervillan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:18:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9232526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxAngelStormxXx/pseuds/xXxAngelStormxXx
Summary: PROMPT- Imagine a villain getting injured and losing their memory and the heroes finding them and taking them with them and taking care of them and the villain gets their memory back after like a week but doesn’t want to say anything because the heroes are being so nice to them and nobody has been that nice to them in so long and they don’t want it to end and they’re maybe getting fond of the heroes but don’t tell anyone shhh. But eventually something happens and the heroes are in trouble and they’re trying to get the villain to run away because they still think they’re an amnesiac with no idea how to defend themself and they’ve grown to like them and don’t want them to get hurt but the villain just pushes past them toward whatever is trying to hurt the heroes and just f----- goes guns blazing and destroys them





	1. Waking Up

            The first thing I notice is a bunch of beeping noises, mostly slow and steady. All from machinery of some kind, I think.

            The second thing I notice is sore pain throughout my body, and my head is throbbing just slightly. A small groaning noise of pain startles me, and It takes me a second to realize that it came from me. A rustle and the sound of shifting feet alerts me to someone’s presence and I force my eyes to open. The light blinds me and I squeeze hurriedly squeeze them shut once more, a gasp of pain escaping my lips.

            “Are you in pain?” A gentle voice cuts through the blackness behind my eyelids, “Would you like some medication?”

            Slowly this time, I open my eyes enough to peer through my eyelashes, enough to see that the person speaking so softly to me is a handsome man. Probably around my age, whatever that is. Twenty I think? He has dark black hair, and deep dark brown eyes. They seem like kind eyes to me, if that’s a thing.

 “Yes please.” I test my voice, whispering softly. I wince at how scratchy it sounds to me.

            He nods, confusion filtering through his expression so quickly that I’m sure I must have imagined it. I can’t think of a reason he would be confused, so it must have been all in my head. “Ok.” He says after a pause before moving away from the side of the bed to do something, get the medication he mentioned I suppose.

                        Letting my head roll to the side a little, I watch him move around the small room, grabbing a few items that I can’t see from here. When he turns to face me once more he still looks a little wary, but he steps back to my side anyway and I can see he is indeed holding a bottle of something and a syringe. He seems to search my face, and he must find whatever it is he’s looking for because he nods slightly and begins to read something on the bottle.

I can barely read the label, and words and instructions leave my mouth before I can think too much about what they are. His eyes shoot back up to me, shock clearly present in them now. He blinks and I confusion floods my system, and I scrunch my nose up, “Wh-what? Am I a nurse or a doctor or something?”

“You don’t remember?” Both his eyebrows raise at this new information and I shake my head to the side and wince from the quick movement. “N-no. I-I don’t re-remember a-anything.” I stammer as I speak now, nerves bubbling up inside me.

            “It’s all right,” His voice is soothing, comforting. “We’ll figure it out.” He offers me a smile before he turns his attention to the stuff in his hands once more. Calmly he administers the pain medicine into an iv bag that I only now realize is in my arm. When his eyes dart back to me after he’s finished, I realize my mouth has opened just the slightest bit, and I avert my own eyes again, feeling a little embarrassed to be caught watching so intently.

            “Uh, thank you.”  I bite my lip, a nervous tick that I feel is vaguely familiar to me like it was something I’d done often in the past for whatever reason. Maybe this was a usual feeling for me as a teenager or something.

            “Hey, Raymond,” A new voice calls out, startling me and I feel myself jump in surprise. Once again, I am wincing from the pain that seems to be coming from moving quickly. In the doorway, I am met with a slim man in a wheelchair and I have a feeling that he would be taller than me if he could stand. Yet, I am glad that he’s now provided me a name for the kind man next to me.

            “Hmm.” He looks to acknowledge him, “Yes Doctor Wells.?”

            “When you’re finished in here,” He eyes me, and I get the distinct feeling he does not like me, “would you please join me in the lab.” His request sounds more like an order to me and I get the feeling that there is no room for discussion at the moment.

            “Of course,” Raymond sighs and Dr. Wells nods, satisfied at his answer and he is quick to leave.

            I clear my throat before trying to speak again “So, uh your name is Raymond then? It’s nice to meet you.” My voice sounds a little clearer than before, to my relief it’s almost smooth.

            “Oh, uh,” He shakes his head, “I’m Ronnie, Raymond is my last name.” He scratches the back of his neck and gives me a half-shrug. “I guess, I’ve got to go.” He purses his lips slightly as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. He pauses another moment and I don’t think to ask my question until he’s already almost out the door.

            The second his foot is past the threshold my eyes widen I tense up, “Wait!” bursts from my lips. Ronnie turns halfway around, “What?”

            “Uh, do you- “I bite my lip again, “um, do you happen to know what my name is?” I ask hopefully. At least having that would be nice, a starting point really to begin figuring out all the things I can’t seem to remember.

            “Oh.” He blinks, surprised again I think, “I actually do.” He offers me another smile, “Your name is Caitlin. I’m sorry, that’s all I know so far.”

            “Caitlin.” I muse, testing it on my tongue. “It’s nice.” I give him a half-shrug.

            “You should get some rest while you can, I’ll-uh- I’ll check on you later.”

            “Thank you, Ronnie. I will.”

            He gives me one last tight-lipped smile before he disappears out of the doorway and I am left alone. Relaxing back into the bed, I resolve to at least try to get some rest like Ronnie suggested.


	2. Next Day

            When I wake up again I feel a little better than I did earlier, still sore but more refreshed somehow. Slowly I force myself to sit up as a knock comes from the door. “Uh, come in?” I call out whomever it is.

            The door opens a small bit and Ronnie peeks his head through the door. “Hey, are you hungry?” he smiles as he slides through the opening, carrying a tray in his left hand and closes the door once inside. “I brought food.” His smile seems to brighten the room and I feel a blush creep up my neck when my stomach growls before I can answer him. His chuckle is light hearted but deep too somehow, and I can’t help the small smile that forms on my lips.

            “Um.” I purse my lips slightly, “Yes, I am a little hungry. Thank you.”

            “Ah, don’t mention it.” He pulls a moving table over, the kind that hospitals have so that patients can have their food in front of them on a table. “Hospital food isn’t that great and Dr. Wells doesn’t have anything on hand here at Star Labs since we’re not actually a hospital. I figured you could use some good ole’ comfort food.” He finishes as he sets the tray down and pulls up a chair next to me.

            “Pizza?” I ask, raising my eyebrow teasingly, in an effort to help hide the delight that he brought two of everything, which meant he must be staying to eat with me. I haven’t

            “Yeah, pizza’s the best.” He shrugs in a non-committal way, as if it is simply a fact of the world and I suppose to him it might be. I find myself laughing with him as we dig in and eat the food he brought.

            “Mmmm.” I hum, “This is really good pizza.” I say after swallowing a few bites, “Although I don’t really remember any other pizzas to compare it to, I feel like this might be the best I’ve ever tasted.” I admit with a smile.

            “Sicilian pizza from Ferero’s. I hoped you would like it, it’s my favorite.” He nods, still smiling at me. After he clears the plates, cups and tray, he asks me another question, “So, what all do you remember?” He looks almost concerned once more as he pulls his chair back up closer to the bed.

            “Nothing really. Thanks to you I know my name is Caitlin.” I pause, trying to force myself to remember something, “I-I don’t really remember anything important. I remember some medical terms and other random facts that I could’ve picked up in high school I suppose. I know my favorite color is blue, and that I think puppies are adorable. I think I learned to dance when I was a kid, and I feel like I play the guitar.” I rub my temples in annoyance to both the headache I could feel coming on, and the fact that I remember next to nothing of use.

            “Hey,” I feel his hands come and gently touch my wrists, “It’s all right.” I peel my eyes back open to look into his, “We’ll figure this out.” I blink as he moves back slowly to sit again, releasing my wrists. I nod, “Thank you for helping me.” I put my arms back in my lap again, already feeling my oncoming headache reside before it hits.

            “It’s no problem.” He smiles at me softly, and I can’t help but feel it’s one of the best sites I have ever seen, even within the memories I’m missing.

            We end up talking until sunlight stops filtering through the mostly closed blinds and my eyes begin to droop in exhaustion before someone interrupts us.

            “Hey, Ronnie- “The person trails off as they peek their head into the room, and blink in surprise.

            “Yes Cisco?” he prompts the other shaggy haired man to continue speaking, “Is that-“Ronnie cuts him off before he finishes his question, “She’s an injured patient with amnesia, and her name is Caitlin.” He almost seems to be giving the other man a warning look of some kind, but I brush it off when this new guy Cisco gives me a tentative smile.

            “Hi Caitlin.”

            “Hello, Cisco, is it? It’s nice to meet you.” I smile back at him, hoping that it might help him warm him up a bit and not be so nervous as he appeared. I offer my hand out for him to shake as he comes closer to the bed, and thankfully he accepts it.

            “Uh, you too.” He pauses for just a second, “I’m sorry, I’m gonna need to take your new friend here. We need Ronnie to look over some stuff.”

            I turn to Ronnie, “Oh, I didn’t realize I was keeping you. I’m sorry.” He waves me off, “It’s all right, they didn’t need me earlier, and I told him to come find me when they were ready for me anyway.”

            “Oh.” I nod, glad I wasn’t distracting him from his job.

            “I suppose I gotta go. Don’t forget to take some meds and get some sleep, ok?” He gives me a pointed look, almost as if he wasn’t sure I would listen to his suggestions.

            “Of course,” I agree and they move to leave, before Ronnie’s out the door I speak up again.

            “Thank you for spending the day with me Ronnie. I’ll see you soon?” I tilt my head with my question, in a hopeful manner.

            “Of course, I’ll be back when I can tomorrow. Goodnight Caitlin.” He seems to have laughter in his smile, and he shuts down the main lights for me as he closes the door behind him.

            Laying back farther down, I sigh as I think about how glad I am to have someone so nice to watch over me. I know some people are less fortunate and are treated quite poorly, with little kindness. It makes me sad to think about that, but I am relieved that I am one of the lucky ones.

           


	3. Dreams and Memories

            It’s a couple of days before Ronnie has time to stop by and see me again, but Cisco has been stopping by and checking on me in his absence. I think he might be warming up to me a little bit with each visit.

            Shaking my head I open the tablet he left with me yesterday, so that I had something I could watch or listen to when they didn’t have time to sit with me. I completely understood what he meant, and I think he was grateful when I didn’t throw a fit about being left alone. Even I know they are spoiling me by spending so much time with me, patients at hospitals don’t usually get this much interaction in a day unless they have family who come in all the time.

            Using the tablet, I spend some time searching through the internet some things that I remember. I’m reading about various medical terms and procedures when a quick knock that I’ve come to recognize as Cisco’s startles me. Without looking up as I close out of the programs I was using, I call, “Come in Cisco.”

            He’s just coming through the door as I shut it down and set it to the side. “How’re you feeling today Caitlin?” His smile is much more friendly than it had started off being.

            “I’m feeling pretty good. My side still hurts a little, my bruised rib will take some time to heal, but my legs, arm and head are feeling much better than before. Oh, and I think my ankle’s doing better from the sprain.”

            “Yeah?” He nods thoughtfully, “We should get you in the training room to get you up and moving again.”            

            “Ok.” I nod, eager to get out of this bed for more than just to use the restroom. Oh, boy am I glad I didn’t actually break anything, I don’t even know what happened.

            “I’ll talk to Ronnie about it, we’ll figure out a schedule so you’re not alone in case something happens.” I nod, not minding his terms one bit. I enjoy the company of both men quite a bit, so it is no trouble for me to have them there.

            “Sounds great. Just let me know I guess.” I let out a small laugh.    

            He talks with me for a while before even he has to go, and I’m left alone once more. With a jolt, I realize that there’s no light coming through the blinds, and it’s already late in the evening. “I should probably get some sleep.” I murmur to myself, and settle down into the bed, ready to sleep.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

            _Flashes in fire-y and icy colors float through my mind, like blasts from a fight exploding across my vision. Nothing is solid, nothing is real._

_Then, with clarity I see Ronnie and he’s wearing a jet black leathery looking jacket with some kind of red symbol on it. It has one big sort of circular patch on his right side , three small ones are linked on his left side, and there is another band that reaches around his back shoulder. Looking around the city street we are standing in is pretty much demolished, fire and smoke coming from various places, while others are covered in jagged ice._

_“Ronnie, what’s going on?” I call out to him, beginning to panic, and he doesn’t seem to hear me at all. Instead he looks at me threateningly, and I find that look is very frightening to be on the receiving end of. I back up as he comes towards me until my back hits a wall and I know I am trapped. “You lose.” His voice is deep, just as alluring as always, but there is hostility in it that sounds oddly familiar. “You’re going to jail.” His eyes are narrowed at me, “Killer Frost.”_

_My eyes wide, I throw my hands up in front of me in a gesture to tell him that I didn’t want to fight. Sucking in a gasp, I see blue frost emitting from my hands. My face scrunches up in a combination of fear and confusion as I stare at my hands and suddenly Ronnie is no longer in front of me and instead in his place is a mirror that stretches on forever in every direction._

_I blink rapidly in surprise as I examine my reflection, not believing what I was seeing. Instead of my light chestnut brown hair, there was snowy blonde curls. My once milky chocolate brown eyes are now and icy shade of blue, and my lips are tinged with navy. “That’s not me.” I reach up and touch my face, watching as the girl in the mirror copied every move. “That’s not me.” I repeat, panic bubbling in my chest again as I look at the frightening girl, the same panic I felt coloring her features. “That’s not me!” I shriek this time and hit the mirror and the shards rain down around me._

_Now I am trapped in a frigidly cold freezer, shaking as I am chilled to the bone. Turning around I find the door and bang my fists on it, “Help!” I call. “Help me! Please!” Over and over I scream, my voice becoming hoarse. I cry, my tears leaving frozen trails on my cheeks. Sliding down the door, I curl myself closer in a half-attempt to keep warm and I realize I stopped shaking a while ago.  That’s never a good sign, and I can’t help but think that I was going to die here._

_As I feel myself drift away very suddenly I find myself out of the freezer, blinded by light. Shielding my eyes, I realize I feel warmth. Standing still, I enjoy the feeling of heat seeping into my skin. Carefully now, I look around the light and my jaw drops slightly as I find the source of the wonderful warmth. It’s Ronnie, and fire covers his head and hands, but he isn’t hurt. In fact, he’s seems to be producing the fire. He’s a metahuman._

_“Ronnie.” I’m breathless by the sight and my voice comes out so soft, almost a whisper._

_“Caitlin.” He reaches towards me; the flames somehow seem inviting and I reach to take his hand. I stare, confused by our now intertwined hands engulfed in fire._

_“You’re not bad, I know you’re not.” His velvety voice is no longer filled with malice, and his thumb strokes the side of my hand in a comforting motion. “You don’t have to be this way, there are other ways to live.” Pleading he looks sympathetic, “Come with me and be on the side of good. Don’t be Killer Frost, the evil icy metahuman villain. Be Frost, the brilliant doctor and metahuman, Firestorm’s partner. My partner.”  Inside me I know that this never happened, this isn’t real and is nothing more than a fantasy, a dream._

_I feel myself start to accept his offer when everything spins and instead of being his partner we are engaged in a fight of epic proportions._

_I’m playing a game of cat and mouse with him, and I’m the cat stalking my prey. The whole game is fun to me, and It makes me wonder what kind of person I am. To think it’s entertaining to chase around the hero, attacking and fighting them for fun. Am I evil? Am I a villain? These thoughts fill my mind as I exchange my icy blows with Firestorm’s fire-y ones. Finally, I knock him down to his back, and kneel over him as I Pin him to the ground._

_“I’m sorry Hot-stuff.” I purr and trail a finger down his chest, “Our little game has to end sometime, and unfortunately that day has come. Zoom is getting impatient and overly tired with it, and he wants you out of the way since you won’t join us.” A frown forms on my lips before I can stop it, and quickly I force it into a sad smile. Leaning down I brace myself by placing a hand flat on his chest. My eyes search his for a moment and I hold back a sigh before I allow my eyelids to slowly close as I continue to lean in._

_Just inches from him I pause again, as I open my eyes enough to look at his lips once before I close them again. I breathe deeply, feeling the differences in our temperatures, his heat and my cold. It was a pleasant feeling, even if I do say so myself._

_Shaking away my thoughts I press my lips to his softly, my cold seeping into him as I absorb his heat. I hated killing, but I need heat to survive and it’s the least painful and quickest for me to kiss them. I haven’t met a person who isn’t affected by my cold; they all freeze when I kiss them. I’m glad I worked to control my skin so that I can have regular contact for short periods._

_The only thing I’m not prepared for is the feeling of his lips moving beneath mine as his hands grab my face gently. I let out a soft gasp into his mouth as we continue to kiss. I lose myself in the feeling, I haven’t been kissed since sometime before I became a metahuman, and I don’t remember it feeling this good._

_Slowly I break the kiss and sit back up; still leaning over, my hair forming almost a curtain around us. I feel dazed as I look at him in confusion. “You’re not dead.” The statement slips out of my lips, almost sounding like a question to my ears._

_Our breathing is heavy as I force myself off of him and back up, shaking my head as I keep my eyes on him._

_“My heat must have canceled out your cold.” The realization comes from him, and my confusion melts away a little bit._

_An explosion breaks the moment and everything is thrown into chaos. Intense pain hits me when I finally try to move when the dust begins to settle. Coughing from inhaling the dust my chest hurts and I let out another groan from the pain._

_Black spots dance across my vision and the last thing I see is Ronnie leaning over me, blood dripping form a cut on his hairline and I know I will be okay. My eyes drift shut and I feel his arms under me as I am lifted into his arms and then the blackness takes over._

_*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************_

            I shoot up in my bed with a gasp, my right hand clutching at my chest and my left hand is a grasping at the sheets.

            I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down and brush my hair out of my face, my blonde hair. I pull my hair forward enough so that I can stare at the blonde curls. Shaking my head I snatch a mirror off the bedside table and my chest tightens as I am greeted by my pale face, icy eyes and navy lips. Just like in my dream, or nightmare depending on the part, but also just like it had been since I first woke up. I haven't had brown hair and eyes since my metahuman powers first manifested.

The realization that most of that was not a dream, but in fact memories, hits me and I cover my mouth with my hands. I look over at the clock

            The realization that most of that was not a dream, but in fact memories, hits me and I cover my mouth with my hands. I look over at the clock Cisco brought one day to see that it’s early in the morning, about 5 am. I’m relieved that I have time to process this big news and calm myself down before Ronnie, Cisco or anyone else comes to visit me.

            By the time Ronnie knocks on my door I am calm, and I resolved to tell him that my memories came back. The second he comes into the room with a smile and breakfast that dissolves.


	4. Exercize Day

            “Caitlin? You alright?” His sudden question startles me and I realize I had zoned out.

            “Oh, yeah. I’m alright.” I shake my head, clearing the images from my dream from my head.

            “No, you’re thinking about something. What is it?” He presses and I give him a half truth. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, I’m just a little tired I think.”

            “Is that all?” He raises an eyebrow at me and I find myself still speaking. “Well, I remembered that I’m a doctor.” I shrug my shoulders and smile again.

            “That’s great news!” He puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a small shake and we laugh together happily, something that I didn’t do in my old life. “So, I talked to Cisco and we worked it out so we can help you start getting some exercise in the training room. I’m sure you’re tired of sitting in a bed all day.”

            “Actually yeah, I’m excited to get moving again.”

            “Well, we’re starting today.” He smiles at my enthusiasm and I think that I light up a little at the idea.

            “C’mon. Let’s go.” He offers me his arm and I draw back the covers before sliding off the bed to my feet. Once I’m up, I accept his offer and take ahold of his arm before he leads me out the room to the hallway. I find myself leaning into him a little bit as we walk, and we run into Cisco when we reach the door.

Glancing over I see our reflection in the glass of the door. I see myself leaning into Ronnie, my blue lips curled into a smile and radiating happiness. Ronnie’s eyes are bright, even in the reflection, and his smile is soft as he looks at me.

“So, are you excited Caitlin?” I look back to see Cisco rubbing his hands together and smiling at me too.

            “Very.” I admit, “I can’t wait to do something.” I laugh.

            “Well, C’mon then.” He pushes open the door and waves me inside. “Wow.” My mouth drops open as I take it all in. Everything is state of the art, and maybe even more so as this is Star Labs- a research facility- after all.

            “I know right.” Ronnie puts his arm on the small of my back, “C’mon.” he gently puts pressure to get me to move farther into the room.

            “I helped design and build some of this stuff.” Cisco chimes back in, and I spot a proud look on his face.

            “That’s so cool Cisco. You didn’t tell me you were an engineer?” He shrugs at me, “Didn’t think about it. My bad.”

            “Let’s go for a jog on the treadmills.” Ronnie suggests, and I raise an eyebrow.

            “You want to exercise with me? Not that I’m complaining, just a little surprised maybe.”

            “Yeah.” He laughs, “You shouldn’t have to work out alone. And besides, it would be a little weird if we accompanied you every day and just watched you work out alone.” He teasingly gives me an embarrassed look and this time I’m the one to laugh.

            We get on and begin a jog, talking as we work.

            Before long we decide to end our jog and Ronnie gives me a big grin and I can tell he’s going to do something.

            “Ronnie?”

            Before I can do anything, he wraps me up in his arms and I squeal, “let go of me, you’re so sweaty.”

He lets out a snort. “So are you.”

            “But you’re sweatier.” I complain.

            He releases me, as Cisco is laughing his butt off. “I think it’s time we get you back to your room.” He says in between breaths.

            They get me back to my room and agree that they should go. Ronnie has to shower anyway, and so do I. After they leave I lean my back against the solid door as I think about everything and I realize that Ronnie has been so kind and wonderful to me when nobody else really had been before. I didn’t want to lose that, and if I tell him I remember then I’m sure that would disappear immediately and I’d be alone again.

            “Clean slate.” I tell myself, “A new start. I can be happy.”


	5. Getting Out

After nearly a month confined to the Star Labs premises, I’m beginning to get antsy. I want to go out. Go somewhere, see something. A change of scenery would be nice, and I’ve been trying to subtly drop hints about it for around a week now. A couple of days ago, I mentioned to Ronnie that I remembered that I liked to go ice skating in high school, and yesterday he mentioned there is a nice rink nearby that’s open.

            About two weeks ago, Cisco and Ronnie had stopped by and dropped off some bags before they had to go work. I had been pleasantly surprised to find new clothes inside, and picked out just for me too! So, now I’m changing from the soft pajama’s they picked up and into a warm blue sweater and skinny jeans. I don’t know how they did it, but they picked stuff that I liked and all in my size too.

            A knock sounds at the door and I call out, “Just a minute!” and quickly finish pulling my clothes on. I hop back onto the bed and make sure my shirt still flows flatteringly while I’m seated before calling out again, “Come in.”

            “Hey Cait.” Ronnie smiles at me as he comes through the door, bags in hand.

            “Hey Ronnie.” I smile back at him, always happy for his company. “What’s in the bags?” I glance at them and give him a questioning look. I hop off the bed and move closer, and make an attempt to peek inside one as I speak.

            He pulls it out of my reach, and laughs, “A little eager aren’t we?”

            “Yes.” I laugh with him, “Now show me.” I nearly beg, my curiosity getting the better of me right now. He lets out a final laugh before setting them down and pulling out a set of ice skates and I feel myself light up like a Christmas tree. “Are we going ice skating?” I nearly squeal with excitement.

            “Yes, we are going to take a walk down a couple of blocks to the rink and skate today.” Putting the skates back in the bag he pulls a warmer coat out of the other bag and hands it to me, “You may want this.” I’m still grinning as I accept it and immediately slip it on, and it’s a perfect fit just like everything else.

            “Looks like you’re ready to go.” He looks at me, definitely amused by my enthusiasm.

            “Whenever you are.” I reply as I zip my new coat up.

            “Let’s go.” He leaves the empty bag on the table, and instead offers his hand for me to take. Of course I gladly accept, and we walk out of Star Labs holding hands.


	6. Ice Skating

            I laugh breathlessly- in a way I don’t recall doing much before, as Ronnie and I twirl round and round on the ice, our skates making swirls and lines in the ice. I feel almost like a child again as skate together, almost but not quite. Not quite because some of the feelings I have are not childish feelings.

            I let out another giggle as we slow down, “This is just as fun as I remember.” I pause and look up into Ronnie’s eyes, “Thank you for taking me out Ronnie.” A smile spreads across my lips and I feel my heart jump when looks down from my eyes to my lips as he answers me with a, “You’re welcome Caitlin.” His voice is soft, and I feel like time slows down as we come to a stop. Suddenly his eyes dart back and he states intently into my eyes; something that I don’t recognize, something that is rough and dark, fills his eyes and I find myself leaning just a fraction or two closer to him. The heat from his metahuman abilities had always called to me, but now it was something different, I think, that is pulling me closer.

            Only inches away he lets go of my hands, an almost abrupt action that leaves my hands feeling cold from the loss of his own.

            I think he must find whatever it is he is looking for as his hands shoot up and grab my face.  I suck in a small breath in surprise and draw my eyebrows in confusion, as I wonder if he had figured out that I lied and remembered everything. My lips feel dry now, so I lick my lips to wet them with my tongue. This causes his eyes to flicker to my lips again for the briefest of seconds before he pulls me to him, and our lips meet in a searing kiss. I gasp into his mouth at the sudden contact and his kiss deepens. To help steady myself my hands find themselves settled softly on his sides.

            This kiss is different from the one I remembered, the one meant to kill him. This kiss is harsher and more rushed, but the feeling is welcome and overwhelms my senses. My hands move on their own from their spot barely touching his sides, up to wind around his neck and thread through his short hair. His hair is softer than I’d have thought, and he lets out a small sound when I pull it slightly in my grip.

            Our mouths part and I immediately feel the loss of all those new and wonderful sensations, and I tilt my chin up slightly ready to welcome another kiss even as I was trying to catch my breath. His forehead rests against mine, and he strokes my cheeks softly with his thumbs as our breath mixes. My cold with his warmth. The feeling of his skin on mine was pleasant, and the small contact here and there over the last few weeks had sent shots of electricity through my veins. It had been one of the only things that kept the freezing, frigid and utterly ice cold evil personality that was Killer Frost at bay. She seemed to creep up without the affection that Ronnie, and even Cisco, had provided and I’ve come to the conclusion that that very thing, affection, was the root of the problem. Even when I was younger my mother was a bit cold, and that only got worse as I got older and older. Whenever I needed or wanted her to just be my mother, I received instead the doctor who worked at Mercury Labs. Affection had come to me very rarely in my life, and that disappeared entirely once my metahuman powers manifested.

            The next kiss is completely the opposite of the first, and this time he kisses me softly, slowly, and languidly. Our lips meld together and my hands loosen and resettle on his chest. One of his larger, calloused hands- the hands of a hands on and hard worker- is removed from my face and I only have to feel the loss of that feeling before his arm winds around my side to rest it on the small of my back only to pull me even closer.

            This time when our kiss is broken we rest our foreheads together, and our breathing is not erratic as it was before. “I love you Ronnie.” The words slip out in a breathless whisper, and he pulls back from me. Finally, I blink my eyes open and bite my bottom lip as I look up to search his face for an answer.

            The look on his face is one I am not prepared for either. His lips are parted slightly and his eyes are wide while he studies me too. My nerves, nerves that I had not felt in years- not since around the end of high school or the beginning of college I think, bubble up to the surface, as they had been since Ronnie had begun spending so much time with me. I quickly look down; my eyes widen just a slight bit as I focus on the tip of my skates. I’m only looking at them for a few seconds before I hear him speak.

            “I love you Cait.” His voice is soft and velvety, barely above a whisper. I look back up and our eyes meet and something I can’t explain is expressed and passed between us through the eye contact. He pulls me closer and I cuddle myself into his chest, nuzzling his neck and I feel him place a kiss on my head as I do so.

            I breathe deeply and the smell, his smell, even makes me feel like I am home as I hold onto him as if my life depended on it. And I suppose it may, I don’t want him to ever let go.

            A shout interrupts the elongated moment, and we pull apart a small amount. His arm now drapes across my shoulders and I cuddle into his side instead, one hand managing to entwine with the one over my shoulder.

            I smile as Cisco approaches the two of us, carrying a to-go cup container with three cups in it. “Hi Cisco.” I call back to him as he maneuvers closer to the edge of the ice we are by. “What’s that?” I tilt my head questioningly at him.

            “Hot chocolate, duh Caitlin.” He shakes his head at me while he continues to stuff a brownie into his mouth as he holds out the container towards us while staying off the ice.

            “Let’s take our skates of first.” Ronnie suggests after he thanks Cisco for the treat. I nod in agreement and we sit on the bench next to the rink and slip out of our skates and back into our shoes.

            When we are standing again, our skates in hand, he tucks me back into his side with his hand now resting on my waist before we accept the cups Cisco brought for us.

            “Ah,” He wags his eyebrows at us, “I was wondering when this,” He gestures with his brownie between the two of us, “would happen.”

            “What?” I ask, I pretend to ask innocently as I lean into his side with the warm beverage grasped between my fingers. Ronnie lets out a small laugh and gives my waist a gentle squeeze.

            “Wow.” Cisco holds back his own laugh, probably so he doesn’t choke on his brownie. And I teasingly wag my eyebrows back at him and this time he does laugh and almost chokes.

            “Seriously Caitlin? I could have _died_.” He stresses the word. “Think about it, Cisco Ramon choked to death on a brownie all because his friend made him laugh.” He mock glares at me accusingly.

            “What?” I smirk at him, “I didn’t do anything.” I tilt my head and false innocence colors my voice.

            “Cait, be nice.” Ronnie mock whispers next to my ear, loud enough for Cisco to hear the teasing sound in his voice.

            “I thought I was being nice.” Still playing with the false innocent act. I tilt my head back enough so that I can look back up into his face.

            He shakes his head and a short laugh escapes him again, “Well, some people might not think so.” He teases me back before he leans in again and kisses me right there in front of Cisco.

            “Aw c’mon man, dude.” Cisco groans, but it seems like he’s now the one teasing us.

            Ronnie breaks our kiss and his gaze lingers on my face before he turns back to Cisco. “What dude?” He raises an eyebrow, “Would you rather we just make out? Cause I am totally down to make out with Cait, like right now.” He teases Cisco back, but I can tell he’s partially serious.

            “No man, that was enough.” He rolls his eyes, “Save it for the honeymoon.” He throws the last bit of brownie into his mouth and we all start sipping at our hot chocolate some more, exchanging small smiles between us.


	7. Rink Fight

            Of course, some part of me knew that this moment would not last long. This moment with the man I’d realized I’d fallen in love with a short while ago, and that I’d probably loved as Killer Frost when I didn’t remember what love was supposed to be-Ronnie, and the man who’d became who I considered to be my best friend-Cisco.

            A feeling of dread filled my stomach and I stiffened, my body going ridged. “Caitlin?” Ronnie prodded, “What’s wrong?” He gently moved me to sit on the bench again and crouched in front of me.

            “I don’t know.” My eyebrows draw together both in confusion and concentration and I look around the park surrounding the large ice rink. I don’t immediately see anything out of the ordinary of any of Zoom’s minions that I had met or heard of before. “I don’t know.” I repeat, “Something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong.” I look back and into his face, feeling my face contort into panic knowing that I would soon find out whatever was happening that I did not yet see.

            Ronnie grabs my face again, running his hands along my head and then holding one at the base of my skull while the other rested on the side of my face. I leaned into his hand, feeling calmer already from his touch.

            “It’s going to be okay.” He repeats softly to me, almost like a mantra until my breathing slows back to normal and I appear more or less calm again.

            “Are you okay Caitlin?” Cisco asks, almost shyly from over Ronnie’s shoulder.

            “Yeah,” I take a deep breath, “Yeah, I think so.” I exhale slowly.

            “I don’t know what came over me- “I pause, “I just felt this overwhelming sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.” I begin to explain but before I can say anything else an explosion rocks the ground and booms through the air. In an instant Ronnie yanks me to the ground and shields me with his body while he looks around for the source.

            I peer around him and my eyes widen when I see Zoom himself surrounded by some random cronies that I don’t recognize. Some of them are holding some kinds of weapons, like guns and electrified batons I think. I should have realized this is what that feeling meant, of course Zoom would want one of his best henchmen back. He would want me back on his team, or dead if that’s what it came down to just to keep me out of the hands of the heroes.

            Ronnie turns to me while Cisco moves to guard us, “Caitlin,” He grabs my face, a frantic look in his eyes, “You have to run, get as far away as you can. Get somewhere safe. Now.” His voice says there’s no room for discussion, but there’s no way that I would plan to leave them here. I begin to shake my head but he roughly pulls me to my feet and gives me a push behind the food concession stand near us.

            Moving I crouch and pretend to look around for an opening to go, this satisfies him and both he and Cisco run out to fight. I wince when I realize that Martin Stein wasn’t nearby. He and Ronnie can both use their fire-y metahuman powers on their own and Ronnie is actually very strong with them on his own too, but when he is fused with Stein he is even stronger. I’ve never   fought Ronnie when he was fused with Stein, I have seen it happen though which is how I know.

            Moving quickly, I find a new vantage point, the best one to get into the fight.

            Preparing to jump in I let my frost spill from my hands, a defensive tactic of mine. Taking a deep breath, I utilize the cold and when I blow the air out an intense blast of air so cold you can see it hits the closest cronies and provides a bit of cover for me. The cold is a weakness to Zoom, and one reason he doesn’t want me against him. As I move through the cover I freeze him as much as I can, thickening the icy prison surrounding him.

            With Zoom debilitated I turn and focus my blows on those foolish thugs on his payroll that are attacking Vibe and Firestorm. I kick, I punch, and I flip; all the while making use of my icy metahuman powers and using that to my advantage.

            Suddenly Zoom is in front of me and his hand is tight around my neck, cutting off my air and I gasp for breath.

            “Cait!” I dimly hear Ronnie’s voice call for me, surprise and worry mixed together as I see Zoom vibrate his hand and move it closer to me. He obviously intends to kill me for my betrayal today. I feel my heart clench, I’m not ready to die. I finally have people who care about me, not my metahuman abilities or what it is I can provide for them. But me, Caitlin Snow.

            Gripping Zoom’s wrist tightly, perhaps tighter than the grip he has on my neck, I cover part of his arm in ice and he howls in anger and irritation and drops me. Moving quickly, I stab his leg with a large shard of ice, and he screeches in pain before throwing me backwards. The second I hit the ground I look up to see fire hitting him square in the chest which throws him backwards.

            Cisco, Vibe, joins in on the attacks and sends airwaves of some sort at him, keeping him down.

            With the advantage of surprise and teamwork they manage to knock him out after a few blasts, and move quickly to contain him before he can get away and cause more damage.

            With Zoom secured they call for someone, probably the Flash-Barry- to come take him to the metahuman prison they have hidden somewhere. I know it exists, but I haven’t learned anything beyond that.

            Finally, I relax, knowing that both Ronnie and Cisco no longer require help and are as alright as they can be under the circumstances. With a small groan, I let myself fall onto my back, careful not to nock my head too hard on the ground. Cold overwhelms me again, as whatever heat I unintentionally absorbed from Ronnie had been spent. After around a month or so of not using my abilities it makes sense that I would feel drained and weak so quickly after forcing myself into a fight with Zoom to help protect people.

            I take a deep, almost shaky breath as I feel my consciousness begin to drift away, blackness beginning to overtake my vision now. I blink slowly, the bright, harsh light of the sun glinting around me and blinding me a bit.

            Ronnie and Cisco both pop up in my vision, directly above me, and I am hit by a wave of déjà vu, except I know why. This moment is reminiscent of when I saw Ronnie and he saved me after the blast.

            Knowing that even if they no longer trusted or wanted me, I’d still be safe with them I don’t fight to stay awake any more. And I hear them calling for me, trying to get me to stay awake.


End file.
